Self-Care is Not What You Think It Is


UnknownYou hear about self-care all over the place these days.  Last night I ran a group and this was our topic.  Self-care is more than flossing, eating healthy and exercising.  Self-care to me equals self-love. If you don’t have self-love it is really hard to be love.  It is difficult to show love in the world and to the world if you can’t show it to yourself.  Sadly, too many women think self-care is selfish rather than seeing it as an act of love not just toward themselves but toward their families.  If you give yourself the support you need, you are then much better prepared to care for your family.  And please see the big picture here, the ripple effect of the energy you put out into the world affects everyone you come into contact with and is in direct proportion to how you treat yourself.  If you can learn to love yourself then you do not need to find it from outside sources that don’t always serve you. You know what I am talking about: the junk food, alcohol, the likes on Facebook, and FOMO.  All of that is a band-aid for the love you are not giving to yourself.

There are so many little things that we do throughout the day that are the opposite of self-care and we don’t even realize we are doing them.  All the negative self-talk is NOT self-care.  Holding back from making a change that has been calling to you is NOT self-care.  Not speaking up to someone you need to have a conversation with is NOT self-care.  Zoning out in front of the television instead of connecting with your family or taking a walk with the dog is NOT self-care.  If you are doing anything to cause yourself to feel guilty, you are going against self-care.  Guilt does not serve you.  It is about choosing the better thought or the better action all throughout your day.

Over the past year, I have come to realize that self-care is about reducing stress in my life in order to stay balanced and in “the flow” of life rather than fighting against it.  It is about being good to yourself in order to come back to a state of joy…. a joy that fills you up with just being alive, like a deep contentedness.   When I rest because my body is telling me I need it, I am then able to cook a healthy dinner for my family; when I have quiet time to myself to gather my thoughts, I then have more patience to deal with moody kids; when I get recharged from nature and have a clearer head then I am better able to create what I want to put out into the world in order to make it a better place.  I discovered that when I take the weekend off from answering emails…guess what? The world doesn’t end! 🙂


So there is no way you should ever look at self-care as selfish when in truth you are helping the planet be a better place.  Self-care = self-love = love for others = love for planet. It’s a big deal! I urge you to take a few minutes to investigate how you are doing in the area of self-care in your life.  Where can you improve? How can you release your old beliefs about it being selfish or self-absorbed or that you don’t have time?  I guarantee you will have more time in your day if you take better care of yourself.  Lack of self-care = mental and physical breakdown = doctors = negative energy that you are putting out into the world.  I speak from experience and have become really good at noticing when I am out of balance and need to ramp up my self-care.  Your body will tell you all you have to do is listen. That is the key.

I want you to write a self-care list that you can refer to every day.  Think of self-care as what would turn you mood around? What would lighten you up?  What would clear your head? What would make you feel a sigh of relief?  What brings you joy?  Those are the items that should be on your list.  So take two minutes and write down as many self-care ideas you can think of.  Then post them somewhere you can see them every day.  I encourage you to commit to three a day that you will focus on: one for the morning, one for mid-day and one for the evening.  You can do it.  I know you want to make the world a better place, right? 🙂

Here is a list to get you started….

  • Going to bed before ten and having a bedtime routine
  • Gardening
  • Being in nature
  • Rest when you are tired
  • A cup of tea and a good book
  • Movement
  • Digital detox
  • Epsom salt bath
  • Diffusing essential oils
  • A cuddle with your pets
  • A cuddle with your kids/hubby
  • Saying I love you to yourself and others
  • Enjoying your hobbies
  • Asking yourself  “is it true?”
  • Drink a green smoothie
  • Girl Time
  • Taking breaks during the work day
  • Telling the truth
  • Asking for help when you need it
  • Being on time
  • Listening to your favorite song and singing at the top of your lungs
  • Doing the hardest thing in your day first so you don’t procrastinate
  • Getting/giving a hug
  • Pick flowers

Have fun with it and feel the change in your life just from simple acts of kindness toward the person that matters most: YOU!

“Show up, tune in, be real, enjoy the ride

2 thoughts on “Self-Care is Not What You Think It Is

  1. kendra wharton says:

    This is a gentle but firm reminder of our ability to tap into the universe and be the best that we can be. It is also a truth that what we put in is what we get out. This is an amazing time to be alive.

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